Goodbye, Dear Friend

My Dearest Murray,

They told us your liver was actually doing a little better (which quite frankly is un-freaking-believable since it was supposed to completely fail around 18 months ago). However, your potassium levels were low, your calcium levels were low, your Electrolytes were low, you had become anemic, and the list goes on.

We could have kept you breathing and got you back to eating again, but that would have been selfish on our part as you really would not have been alive. We didn't want you to live in a decrepit state. That is not who you are. That is not what you symbolize. That is not what you would want us to do.

You have now moved on to richer pastures - hopefully, to a place where you can run around again with reckless abandon. And, bark at anything and everyone. And, extol kisses on everyone. And, dig holes in the yard. And, pull the socks off of everyone's feet (as they are walking around their house!). And, make everyone smile as soon as they see you saunter into the room. And, provide levels of joy for all the angels you are now keeping as company.

I trust you are thanking us.

I pray you are thanking us.

We watched as extreme care was taken to make sure you were comfortable and we watched you finally be at peace. When the lethal dosage was administered to you, it only took a few seconds for your legs to go limp and for your soul to rise from your body and head up to heaven.

Perhaps I do believe in God after all.

Thank you yet again, Murray.....somehow I feel like I will be learning lessons from you for many years to come.

I thought you'd want to know that Sasha told me tonight that she is most sad because she won't be able to give you a piece of cereal tomorrow morning - traditionally, one of the highlights of our morning.

Eliana recognizes you aren't here, but she doesn't understand the brevity of the situation. That's okay as we have plenty of pictures and videos to show her as she gets older.

I have a feeling you (and Dudley) will be spliced into Bat Mitzvah and Wedding videos as the history of the Klein family has been irrevocably altered in the most positive way possible since the two of you joined us in February 2001.

Lastly, Kristi will be okay. She loves you so much. You kept her great company for many years as she waited for me to come home from work, and school, and volunteer obligations, and so on, and so on. Your strength up until the last second is inspiring. It did not go unnoticed to Kristi. She held you even as your legs were giving way today. She will love you forever.

Well, My Friend, I will truly miss you. I already do.

Until we meet again.....

Love,
Matt

PS - Save me a spot on the back patio so I can watch you chase the sprinkler heads as they activate one zone at a time!

Reality Has Set In

Murray has 90 minutes left with us. At 4:30 pm, we have an appointment at our vet's office to have him euthanized. This is extremely surreal. As I try to type around my tears the finality of what has happened to Murray, and what is about to happen, has really set in.

Wow - this is an extremely strange feeling....I know we'll all get through this as best as we can, but I'm at a loss right now.

His pain is about to end.

I'm not sure I've ever been this emotional before. I guess I do have the ability to truly love.

Yet again I learn another lesson from Murray even as he is about to pass away from this world.

What a great dog....and, what a great loss.

You can also learn a lot from a 7-year-old

My wife had the conversation this evening with our two daughters about how sick our dog, Murray, is right now and that he may not get better this time.

As was expected, our 3-year-old, Eliana, did not really comprehend what my wife was explaining to her.

Our 7-year-old, Sasha, completely understood what my wife was telling her. She was completely distraught. She cried. And, cried. When she calmed down a little bit to tell my wife her feelings, she said she was very sad because Dudley wouldn't have his brother any more....what would he do without his brother?

We should all be so blessed to possess half the compassion that Sasha possesses at age 7.

You Can Learn A Lot From a Great Dog

We have two allegedly pure-bred Maltese in our household. Both were born in October 2000 and we adopted them in February 2001.

Dudley Hugs Klein was born about a little more than a week before Murray Sunshine Klein. They have the same father and their mothers were sisters. Cue the joke machine.....

Ironically, they have completely different personalities and you'd have no idea they share any blood lines at all.

While I enjoy having both dogs around, the "dog's dog" of the group is Murray. Weighing in at a whopping 18 pounds, he is the Andre The Giant of the Maltese world. He has always acted like a "big dog". He loves to lay around and make you walk around him....he is always quick to run and greet me at the door with barks and kisses, even if I was simply gone for a few minutes. He loves going on walks. He loves to pull on the viburnum hedges in the front yard when we leave for our walks (Murray!). He snuggles up against you when it is time for bed. He loves to wrestle and chase balls and toys. And, Murray loves to run in a pack.

About 24 months ago, he wasn't doing real well, and we thought we were taking him to the Vet to get the "take him home for one more night" talk. Murray was diagnosed with a severe liver disease and even if he got better in the next day or two, then we would be lucky to have him 6 more months.

And, then something happened. He got better.....in a hurry. It was quite frankly, close to a miracle-type recovery.

At the same time his liver issues were occurring, we learned he was also diabetic. Some doggy insulin shots twice a day have all but cured that problem.

Then, a couple of weeks later, Murray developed cataracts in both eyes. They are not painful and it seems like he was able to hold onto approximately 25% of his sight. Not great by any stretch, but he didn't care. He adapted immediately and was the same Murray we had known before all of his maladies began to affect him.

Well, that was nearly 24months ago, and this SOB has been going strong and barking at our neighbor's dogs and patroling the yard and protecting us from imaginary dangers and, basically, well, being himself again. It was unreal to think he was almost dead back in 2008.

Reality has started to finally set in, and Murray had been doing great until a few weeks ago. He is starting to go downhill and it is tough to watch. I'll spare you the details in order to preserve his dignity, but it just doesn't seem right to see him go like this.

Where is my dog that greets me at the door? Where is my dog that pulls my socks off my feet when he wants to be "bad" and nips at my toes along the way? I do miss that dog.

I hope Murray does get better one last time. We'll get some blood work back for Murray in a couple of days and we'll see how his liver is holding up. Murray has proven everyone wrong before (he was literally on death's doorstep before) and I'd love for him to make it back one more time.

What an inspiring animal.

We should all be so lucky to learn how to trust and love and play and protect and care as well as Murray Sunshine Klein.

We love you, Murray - you can do it, man.

My Blog Desires

I'm not really sure what I'm doing here, but I felt like I needed to start to record some thoughts about, well, everything.



I love baseball (as you probably already can tell) and there is a distinct reason for the name of my blog. Here is the quick story -



I grew up in Pennsylvania (forever forward known as "PA") and the winters would be quite unfriendly. Sure, we'd have some fun when the snow was falling, but the shoveling and the freezing and the slight melting and the re-freezing was enough to dampen anyone's spirits. It would usually be the worst in late January and early February.



HOWEVER, something magical would happen every February 15th (or thereabouts). I'd open up the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal, and there it was.......the published account of when the Phillies would have Spring Training in Clearwater, FL and who they would play that March in the Grapefruit League.



It is nearly impossible to describe, but just seeing that information in print would bring a bit of sunshine to my day. It was time to start thinking about Spring time again. It was time to start thinking about whether or not I was still good enough to play baseball myself for my own team. It was time to start looking for new batting gloves.



It was a re-birth of sorts - a time to know that things are about to get a lot better no matter how much the doldrums have their hooks into you.



So, this is where I am right now in my life when it comes to my thoughts and cerebral introspection. I feel like I have some things to say. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read them.....I'm not sure I care. I'm hoping that by finding a method to record my thoughts, I will find out more about myself....and, that I won't have this feeling like it is late January in PA all the time when it comes to my thoughts about the world, and life, and everything else that does (or doesn't) matter.